It just occurred to me that the people who come in for the service after us will be sitting here wondering – Was everyone in that last service wearing the same perfume?!
June would have been tickled by that.
I can also imagine that if mum were here with us today, she would have made a few other comments:
First, what on earth have they done to my hair!?
Then, she might comment on my dress. I'm pleased to see you've taken note of the boat neck trend. You know, Meghan wore a boat neck at her wedding… Now do stand up straight!
And then she might say, is that my Kate Spade handbag? Did I say you could have that!?
In seeking inspiration for this eulogy today, I went through a lot of mum's old photos and letters. One of the things that struck me was what a kind person she was to the many people she had met over the years.
In addition to the countless letters and cards and later emails thanking mum for dinner parties or bridge lunches, I found one letter from a little Japanese girl called Maya. She was the daughter of one of the senior managers at the Japanese bank where mum had worked in Boston for several years. I gather mum had spent many an evening recording tapes of Beatrix Potter books to send to Maya in Japan so she could learn English.
I also found many letters she'd exchanged with my dad. Long divorced by the time she moved to England in 2005, they had remained friends. But the way they nagged each other, in a nice way!, they might as well have still been married.
Although she could be volatile with those closest to her, my mother was one of those people who could get along with just about anyone. Whether it was a visiting British dignitary in Jamaica or the checkout people at Waitrose, my mother would chat with anyone.
She was forever striking up conversations with complete strangers – but in many cases, these people went on to become friends. Geraldine, I believe you met mum in the pet food aisle of a supermarket, chatting about cat food.
Speaking of pets, you will see mum is now surrounded by images of her pets through the years, from one of her first dogs in London – Judy – up to her beloved Suki, Smokey and Simba. And of course, she was grandma to my pets – Chouli, then Cleo and Lola and most recently Koko, who she called Chouli in the early days. I often teased her that she loved her pets more than me!
Wherever she went, mum made an impression on people. The presence of Valentina and Marie, who cared for her so well in this last year, speaks volumes of the impact she had on everyone she met, even when she was slowed by age and declining health.
But up until these past few years, mum never let much of anything stop her. She moved to Jamaica from England in the early 1950s – something girls in their 20s in those days just did not do! She made some lifelong friends there – Joan and Jean and Bunny, with whom she exchanged many a fond letter over the years. I called Bunny last week to tell her of mum's passing and she was so sad. Joan and Bunny live in Toronto now but I know they are here in spirit.
Mum spent some happy years in Jamaica. She spoke often of days at the beach and nights at rum punch parties. My father used to tell me how she'd drive her little car – the "Blue Bird" – at breakneck speeds around Jamaica's twisting roads, late for work yet again.
Speaking of being late, to know June was to forgive her her tardiness. It must be a genetic thing, because I have certainly inherited that trait from her!
To be honest, I'm surprised she didn't find a way to be late here today!
One of mum's most defining characteristics was her style. It was second to none. In her early days in Jamaica, mum had taught herself to sew, although in later years, she had replaced her sewing machine with a Macy's credit card. She never left the house without being impeccably dressed, with just the right handbag, shoes and of course, full makeup.
Always young at heart, mum was on the cutting edge of every trend from fashion to technology. She was on top of every season's colour as soon as it appeared in Vogue and she even had a mobile phone before I did!
She loved music and her youthful outlook meant it didn't take her long to develop a fondness for many of the bands I liked. The first song I heard on the radio when I woke up this morning was Wham's 'Wake me up before you go-go'. She loved that song and we used to dance around the kitchen whenever it came on.
When she moved to Boston after I graduated from college, I took her to see several of the 'cool' local bands. She was always so thrilled that I wanted to include her in my world. And, of course, I took her to see David Bowie and the Rolling Stones, both of whom she adored.
My friend Jodi wrote to me the other day and shared her memory of my taking June to see Bowie in the late '90s – apparently, I told Jodi that when Bowie had played 'I'm afraid of Americans', mum had sung along with glee!
But all of mum's characteristics pale in comparison to her love for me, her only child. She loved me without measure. Sometimes it felt like too much, but there was nothing in this world she would not do for me. She edited every school paper and every magazine article I wrote and was so enormously proud of even my most minor achievement.
She helped me nurse my beloved Chouli back from the brink. And perhaps most importantly, she instilled in me a love of reading. She often told me she had read to me in my crib from the time I was born.
So perhaps it is fitting that in the last few moments I had with mum last week, I read to her. I read a passage from one of our favourite books Brideshead Revisited. It ends with this:
I should like to bury something precious in every place where I've been happy and then, when I was old and ugly and miserable, I could come back and dig it up and remember.
Mum never did bury any crocks of gold, but she left us all with so many memories. I heard it said once that the afterlife is how you're remembered by the living. So, let us leave here today with all our happy memories of this glamourous, adventurous, well-read, charming and intelligent woman. Wherever she is, I hope she is wearing high-heeled shoes again, her hair the perfect shade of red, holding a Kate Spade handbag and surrounded by all her darling pets.
Love always, Muffy